White Men I Can’t Tell Apart

These white men will always be interchangeable in my mind…I just can’t separate them or know for sure who’s who.

Note: This article is anger-bait for the currently super oppressed population of white men.

1. Chris Pine & James Marsden

I am fully aware that these are two different people. I even love James Marsden wayyyyy more because he got his start on The Nanny, had an awesome role on 30 Rock, and was fantastic in Dead to Me. But was Chris Pine actually Tina Fey’s boyfriend Criss in 30 Rock? Because I know James Marsden kicked ASS in Wonder Woman!!! And I don’t even know if EITHER of them were in Westworld at this point.

2. Timothy Olyphant & Tate Donovan

This one is like twins for me where when they’re in separate rooms you can’t tell them apart, but as soon as they’re standing next to each other, you say, “Oh duh! That one’s Tate!” Like the pair above, I have an epic preference for the looks of just one, Timothy Olyphant. However, even just looking for pictures of them both, I couldn’t keep track of who was who! Shout out to Tate for Damages.

3. Gotye & Hoziye

Foreign singers that got popular around the same time? One featuring a Y and the other a Z! Terrible mop of hair each? Even though one was a one-hit oneder and one is prolific, they are hopelessly the same person to me.

4. Jim Belushi & Bill Murray (& James Gandolfini & John Goodman)

This one is really here to piss off the gentlemen. Though it is true in my brain they look exactly alike. I think it’s the smirky mouth and the pinchable cheeks. I can really tick you off and say that James Gandolfini falls equally into this set…he was great in The Big Lebowski, Bill rocked it in Blues Brothers, and Jim was fantastic in that sitcom with Roseanne! Who’s John Goodman?

Who should I add? Who in your mind are the same person?